Been So Long

It's been forever since I've written-typed-here that I'm having a bit of a time trying to figure out what to write about. I promised that I would write here everyday about something pagan, no matter how small, and I've fallen short of that. Not for lack of having something to talk about, but more because I let life get in the way.

Now don't think I've stopped, because I haven't, just I haven't really felt the inclination to write about anything pagan, witchy or anything. Work is the most of it. I work in a photo studio and our holiday season seems to start earlier and earlier. I'm also really busy, being a core person, so I'm also really tired when I come home. I don't even really check my e-mail. I have something like 1914 emails in the inbox. I'm going through it today and will delete most of it because a lot of it is so old that replying or reading would be silly.

I've also not made a video for YouTube in months because I've not crafted anything, and again, because of work I've been so busy. However this week and next means the Christmas rush will be over pretty much and things go back to normal. I'll be able to carry a book to work and have time to read it because I'll be so bored and have not much to do. I'm not supposed to do that, but if I'm making calls and reading they can't get too mad at me. I'll be doing my work and not be so bored.

But where's the pagan part of this. Well before the rush really hit I bought some pagan jewelry. I'm not a huge jewelry person. I might wear some of the rings I have. I might put in my lobe piercings(of the 13 I have those don't close so I don't wear them, everything else I never take out.) But I bought three necklaces, two of which I'll use for ritual use. They're really nice. One is a pentacle and the other a pentagram. Yes, there's a difference. Maybe I'll leave that for another post.

The other is a fairy and underneath is a pentacle. I wear this almost everyday since I got it. Now I'll mention that I almost never wear necklaces because I'm allergic to nearly everything(gold included) but this is silver(which I'm not allergic to and like better anyway.) When most kids see it they think the fairy is Tinkerbell and I'll either not correct them(it's not highly important and I was thinking of painting it something like Tinkerbell) or I'll just say it's just a fairy. Little girls like it, boys...well they're boys. They all never ask about the pentacle because to them, I guess, it's just a star like the fairy is Tinkerbell.

Now I'll say that when I went searching for a pentacle to wear everday I didn't want something huge. I live in a Christian area, though not the Bible belt(I'm at the top of the buckle. Too many churches for my small town, but people don't really give a crap really. Our JWs are highly respectful people, they don't come around and bug you. And the Mormons we had aren't anything like the stereotypes on TV.) But overall I didn't want to cause a fuss around or at work. Granted most of the time people never notice what a random stranger has on, and those aren't the folks I'm "worried" about. I'm talking about work really and when I have to interact with people wherever I go.

Like I said I didn't want something huge, nothing that said, "Hey I'm a witch! Come stone me!" I also wanted something that kind of worked with my "philosophy" on things and this little fairy/pentacle did.

I'll start with the fairy part. Fairies, to me, represent the imagination and things we can't see with the naked eye or mind. I can see a chair, I can see my cat, I can see the people around me. I can't see fairies, slyphs, salamders, auras etc. when I go about my daily business. When I'm cleaning or working I'm in the work-a-day world and can barely see straight, much less all things magical. So the fairy reminds me that there is magic in the world and that it's always with me.

The pentacle reminds me of the practical in life. Now some are going to disagree and say it's a magical thing, but bare with me. I loves me some Greek philosophy and one thing I've learned from the Greeks is everything in moderation. Work, school, fun, sleep, food etc. Everything in moderation. One Greek philosopher I've studied, and mean to study more, is Pythagoras. He used the pentagram to represent a bunch of stuff, not all of it physical, a lot metaphysical. However I personally feel a practical side to it right now. Even if you look at it as representing the elements no one element dominates the pentagram or pentacle. They're all in proportion. Yes, they occupy different spots on the pentacle but nothing is better or worse than any other. They all have their virtues and vices.

So when you combine the fairy and the pentacle they remind me that life is magical. I mean I breathe. Breathing is a physical thing, but why exactly do I breathe? What is the "animation" inside that says to my brain to do that? That's nothing something we can quantify. It also reminds me that life is practical. If I don't study the boring stuff my spells and rituals are just movements and lip service. If I don't sit down and meditate and visualize, which is hard for me still, I'll just make a mess.

So I wear it everyday. I haven't gotten any problems from it. I figure if Christians and Jews can wear crosses and Stars of Davids then why not me wear my fairy pentacle? I also suspect that some adults think it's a State of David since I've mentioned I wanted to take Hanukkah pictures(because well I'm tired of taking Christmas ones.) Or they just think it's a star and the circle is to attach it to the fairy(which helps the piece practically because without it the pentacle would have fallen apart). That and many just have no idea.

I should probably mention that I really like stars too. I love to see them on clear nights and have a set tattooed on my foot.

One thing I've noticed this year is that I'm not as upset about things as I used to be. When I work Christmas the past 3 Christmases there is usually a person once a week who would piss me off to absolutely no end. This year I've had only two people. Both of whom lied so much it's crazy and whose story changes each time with the telling(which is always a tell-tale sign someone's lying.) Thankfully though I have a manager who listens to her employees and doesn't always take the customer's side, unlike our company who just wants the money(but loses out more often than not because they just keep trying to get over on them, and they get into the habit of never buying anything.) So since I've been wearing it the pentacle has been doing it's job of protection. It's even duller than the fairy so it's time for it to be cleansed(already I've not had it three months, so after Christmas in the new year.) I'm one of those people who feel a lot. (I wouldn't say I'm an empath, I just feel a lot.) I had a hard time in school because I could feel everything and had no tools to handle all the emotions I had plus those of others. Now I do. The pentacle helps tremendously,so I suspect I'll be going through a few in my life. That, and my technique of the blank face. When people start to annoy me I just try to "Sookie" smile or just look blank. They can't stand either, but I have to live with me. I can't seem to do the brick wall or the bubble because that blocks out too much, and I can't do my job as well. I have to be able to feel and understand the stress of a baby or young child before I see it or I'll never get any pictures.

So that's my pagan/witchy thing for today. I'll try my absolute best to write everday, but if not then once a week until I begin to get close to everyday. There shouldn't be a three month hiatus unless something goes wrong.