Yesterday was the very first day of winter, or the Winter Solstice. This is just about the first time, that I can remember, that we actually had snow in time for it. Granted it was officially a fall snow, but there is snow and ice on the ground nonetheless.
So on to Yule. I had work on Yule. I know boo on work, but it couldn't be avoided and so I had to go. I was exhausted while I was there too. I was so tired and sick that I was worried I wouldn't be able to make it through the night. It also didn't help that I've had bad insomnia for the past few weeks and haven't been sleeping so I was tired from that too. As in I'd been up since 11am on Sunday and I also cleaned, did laundry, painted and set up my altar for Yule, then went and got my hair done, where I doozed off, but not a good sleep, and then back home to finish what I was doing before I left. Did I mention that I also cooked before I left too? Just some soup in the crockpot, which I didn't know wasn't plugged in when I left so it sat for 3 hours, but was still done when I came home from work.
So when I came home I ate some soup. I'd been looking forward to that soup since I went shopping with my mom on Friday, when it first started to snow. Tradition for me every year since I became pagan was to make soup on Yule. That was really the extent of my celebration.
But this year I did something different, and which I hope to make bigger and better every year. I'll admit I didn't stay up the whole night. I would have killed myself if I had I was so tired. So I went to bed and I slept a good sleep. I did set my alarm clock for 5am so I could greet the dawn.
I woke up, talked to my cat and put her ribbon on her. She gets Christmas ribbon every year on the Winter Solstice that she wears until Christmas. She loves her ribbon, though this year she made me run around to catch her to put it on. She was being silly and thought I was putting on her sweater(which she wears when she wants to get in the window because she catches colds really easily and needs to be warm.) So I put that on her and moved my altar from the south wall to the north wall and out from under the shelves I put up.
I warmed up some soup and put in my chalice some apple cider, cold. I then removed my small Christmas tree because I didn't want to start a fire and some tools I wasn't going to need for my Yule ritual. I then closed my door enough to shut out most of the light, then I turned out the lights. The only light I had in my room was the street light which looks like a really close star through my curtained windows.
I got in a comfy position and basically just said a 5-6 min prayer to the God and Goddess. I said something about what Yule/Winter Solstice means to me and how like the sun everyone goes through hard times only to rise up and become stronger. I said that I thanked them for the hard times as it makes me a better person. I also mentioned that I'm thankful for what I have. I'm thankful for my warm home, my warm food, clean water, a job, a car, clothes etc. I'm not a rich person I prayed, but I'm doing better than so many other people. I don't always like my job, but I have one. I thanked them for my family, my boyfriend, my best friends and friends and for what they have. I asked the God and Goddess to bless them and keep them safe in the coming year. I basically just poured my heart out to Them about all my feelings of Yule.
Once that was done I looked around me in the relative dark. I then began to light all the candles on my altar one by one. My whole room was just lit up with light and it was just the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen and I was very happy with the whole thing. I thanked Them yet again for the bounty I have and will have. I offered up some of the soup I made and the apple cider. Then I ate and drank them as a sign I accept the blessings I have from the Goddess and God whole heartedly(they were both good.)
Then I took pictures of my altar and made a short video explaining my altar and it's set up. It's nothing big or spectacular, but I love it nonetheless. I also need to take a picture of it when the tree is on there. I decorated it with some balls I got and some ribbon. It's a really nice tree.
So after that I spent some time just reading up on the Solstice. I stayed up until the sun was well up and then I went back to sleep.
Now I'm going to finish checking some things and then I'm going to wrap my Christmas gifts.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
Been So Long
It's been forever since I've written-typed-here that I'm having a bit of a time trying to figure out what to write about. I promised that I would write here everyday about something pagan, no matter how small, and I've fallen short of that. Not for lack of having something to talk about, but more because I let life get in the way.
Now don't think I've stopped, because I haven't, just I haven't really felt the inclination to write about anything pagan, witchy or anything. Work is the most of it. I work in a photo studio and our holiday season seems to start earlier and earlier. I'm also really busy, being a core person, so I'm also really tired when I come home. I don't even really check my e-mail. I have something like 1914 emails in the inbox. I'm going through it today and will delete most of it because a lot of it is so old that replying or reading would be silly.
I've also not made a video for YouTube in months because I've not crafted anything, and again, because of work I've been so busy. However this week and next means the Christmas rush will be over pretty much and things go back to normal. I'll be able to carry a book to work and have time to read it because I'll be so bored and have not much to do. I'm not supposed to do that, but if I'm making calls and reading they can't get too mad at me. I'll be doing my work and not be so bored.
But where's the pagan part of this. Well before the rush really hit I bought some pagan jewelry. I'm not a huge jewelry person. I might wear some of the rings I have. I might put in my lobe piercings(of the 13 I have those don't close so I don't wear them, everything else I never take out.) But I bought three necklaces, two of which I'll use for ritual use. They're really nice. One is a pentacle and the other a pentagram. Yes, there's a difference. Maybe I'll leave that for another post.
The other is a fairy and underneath is a pentacle. I wear this almost everyday since I got it. Now I'll mention that I almost never wear necklaces because I'm allergic to nearly everything(gold included) but this is silver(which I'm not allergic to and like better anyway.) When most kids see it they think the fairy is Tinkerbell and I'll either not correct them(it's not highly important and I was thinking of painting it something like Tinkerbell) or I'll just say it's just a fairy. Little girls like it, boys...well they're boys. They all never ask about the pentacle because to them, I guess, it's just a star like the fairy is Tinkerbell.
Now I'll say that when I went searching for a pentacle to wear everday I didn't want something huge. I live in a Christian area, though not the Bible belt(I'm at the top of the buckle. Too many churches for my small town, but people don't really give a crap really. Our JWs are highly respectful people, they don't come around and bug you. And the Mormons we had aren't anything like the stereotypes on TV.) But overall I didn't want to cause a fuss around or at work. Granted most of the time people never notice what a random stranger has on, and those aren't the folks I'm "worried" about. I'm talking about work really and when I have to interact with people wherever I go.
Like I said I didn't want something huge, nothing that said, "Hey I'm a witch! Come stone me!" I also wanted something that kind of worked with my "philosophy" on things and this little fairy/pentacle did.
I'll start with the fairy part. Fairies, to me, represent the imagination and things we can't see with the naked eye or mind. I can see a chair, I can see my cat, I can see the people around me. I can't see fairies, slyphs, salamders, auras etc. when I go about my daily business. When I'm cleaning or working I'm in the work-a-day world and can barely see straight, much less all things magical. So the fairy reminds me that there is magic in the world and that it's always with me.
The pentacle reminds me of the practical in life. Now some are going to disagree and say it's a magical thing, but bare with me. I loves me some Greek philosophy and one thing I've learned from the Greeks is everything in moderation. Work, school, fun, sleep, food etc. Everything in moderation. One Greek philosopher I've studied, and mean to study more, is Pythagoras. He used the pentagram to represent a bunch of stuff, not all of it physical, a lot metaphysical. However I personally feel a practical side to it right now. Even if you look at it as representing the elements no one element dominates the pentagram or pentacle. They're all in proportion. Yes, they occupy different spots on the pentacle but nothing is better or worse than any other. They all have their virtues and vices.
So when you combine the fairy and the pentacle they remind me that life is magical. I mean I breathe. Breathing is a physical thing, but why exactly do I breathe? What is the "animation" inside that says to my brain to do that? That's nothing something we can quantify. It also reminds me that life is practical. If I don't study the boring stuff my spells and rituals are just movements and lip service. If I don't sit down and meditate and visualize, which is hard for me still, I'll just make a mess.
So I wear it everyday. I haven't gotten any problems from it. I figure if Christians and Jews can wear crosses and Stars of Davids then why not me wear my fairy pentacle? I also suspect that some adults think it's a State of David since I've mentioned I wanted to take Hanukkah pictures(because well I'm tired of taking Christmas ones.) Or they just think it's a star and the circle is to attach it to the fairy(which helps the piece practically because without it the pentacle would have fallen apart). That and many just have no idea.
I should probably mention that I really like stars too. I love to see them on clear nights and have a set tattooed on my foot.
One thing I've noticed this year is that I'm not as upset about things as I used to be. When I work Christmas the past 3 Christmases there is usually a person once a week who would piss me off to absolutely no end. This year I've had only two people. Both of whom lied so much it's crazy and whose story changes each time with the telling(which is always a tell-tale sign someone's lying.) Thankfully though I have a manager who listens to her employees and doesn't always take the customer's side, unlike our company who just wants the money(but loses out more often than not because they just keep trying to get over on them, and they get into the habit of never buying anything.) So since I've been wearing it the pentacle has been doing it's job of protection. It's even duller than the fairy so it's time for it to be cleansed(already I've not had it three months, so after Christmas in the new year.) I'm one of those people who feel a lot. (I wouldn't say I'm an empath, I just feel a lot.) I had a hard time in school because I could feel everything and had no tools to handle all the emotions I had plus those of others. Now I do. The pentacle helps tremendously,so I suspect I'll be going through a few in my life. That, and my technique of the blank face. When people start to annoy me I just try to "Sookie" smile or just look blank. They can't stand either, but I have to live with me. I can't seem to do the brick wall or the bubble because that blocks out too much, and I can't do my job as well. I have to be able to feel and understand the stress of a baby or young child before I see it or I'll never get any pictures.
So that's my pagan/witchy thing for today. I'll try my absolute best to write everday, but if not then once a week until I begin to get close to everyday. There shouldn't be a three month hiatus unless something goes wrong.
Now don't think I've stopped, because I haven't, just I haven't really felt the inclination to write about anything pagan, witchy or anything. Work is the most of it. I work in a photo studio and our holiday season seems to start earlier and earlier. I'm also really busy, being a core person, so I'm also really tired when I come home. I don't even really check my e-mail. I have something like 1914 emails in the inbox. I'm going through it today and will delete most of it because a lot of it is so old that replying or reading would be silly.
I've also not made a video for YouTube in months because I've not crafted anything, and again, because of work I've been so busy. However this week and next means the Christmas rush will be over pretty much and things go back to normal. I'll be able to carry a book to work and have time to read it because I'll be so bored and have not much to do. I'm not supposed to do that, but if I'm making calls and reading they can't get too mad at me. I'll be doing my work and not be so bored.
But where's the pagan part of this. Well before the rush really hit I bought some pagan jewelry. I'm not a huge jewelry person. I might wear some of the rings I have. I might put in my lobe piercings(of the 13 I have those don't close so I don't wear them, everything else I never take out.) But I bought three necklaces, two of which I'll use for ritual use. They're really nice. One is a pentacle and the other a pentagram. Yes, there's a difference. Maybe I'll leave that for another post.
The other is a fairy and underneath is a pentacle. I wear this almost everyday since I got it. Now I'll mention that I almost never wear necklaces because I'm allergic to nearly everything(gold included) but this is silver(which I'm not allergic to and like better anyway.) When most kids see it they think the fairy is Tinkerbell and I'll either not correct them(it's not highly important and I was thinking of painting it something like Tinkerbell) or I'll just say it's just a fairy. Little girls like it, boys...well they're boys. They all never ask about the pentacle because to them, I guess, it's just a star like the fairy is Tinkerbell.
Now I'll say that when I went searching for a pentacle to wear everday I didn't want something huge. I live in a Christian area, though not the Bible belt(I'm at the top of the buckle. Too many churches for my small town, but people don't really give a crap really. Our JWs are highly respectful people, they don't come around and bug you. And the Mormons we had aren't anything like the stereotypes on TV.) But overall I didn't want to cause a fuss around or at work. Granted most of the time people never notice what a random stranger has on, and those aren't the folks I'm "worried" about. I'm talking about work really and when I have to interact with people wherever I go.
Like I said I didn't want something huge, nothing that said, "Hey I'm a witch! Come stone me!" I also wanted something that kind of worked with my "philosophy" on things and this little fairy/pentacle did.
I'll start with the fairy part. Fairies, to me, represent the imagination and things we can't see with the naked eye or mind. I can see a chair, I can see my cat, I can see the people around me. I can't see fairies, slyphs, salamders, auras etc. when I go about my daily business. When I'm cleaning or working I'm in the work-a-day world and can barely see straight, much less all things magical. So the fairy reminds me that there is magic in the world and that it's always with me.
The pentacle reminds me of the practical in life. Now some are going to disagree and say it's a magical thing, but bare with me. I loves me some Greek philosophy and one thing I've learned from the Greeks is everything in moderation. Work, school, fun, sleep, food etc. Everything in moderation. One Greek philosopher I've studied, and mean to study more, is Pythagoras. He used the pentagram to represent a bunch of stuff, not all of it physical, a lot metaphysical. However I personally feel a practical side to it right now. Even if you look at it as representing the elements no one element dominates the pentagram or pentacle. They're all in proportion. Yes, they occupy different spots on the pentacle but nothing is better or worse than any other. They all have their virtues and vices.
So when you combine the fairy and the pentacle they remind me that life is magical. I mean I breathe. Breathing is a physical thing, but why exactly do I breathe? What is the "animation" inside that says to my brain to do that? That's nothing something we can quantify. It also reminds me that life is practical. If I don't study the boring stuff my spells and rituals are just movements and lip service. If I don't sit down and meditate and visualize, which is hard for me still, I'll just make a mess.
So I wear it everyday. I haven't gotten any problems from it. I figure if Christians and Jews can wear crosses and Stars of Davids then why not me wear my fairy pentacle? I also suspect that some adults think it's a State of David since I've mentioned I wanted to take Hanukkah pictures(because well I'm tired of taking Christmas ones.) Or they just think it's a star and the circle is to attach it to the fairy(which helps the piece practically because without it the pentacle would have fallen apart). That and many just have no idea.
I should probably mention that I really like stars too. I love to see them on clear nights and have a set tattooed on my foot.
One thing I've noticed this year is that I'm not as upset about things as I used to be. When I work Christmas the past 3 Christmases there is usually a person once a week who would piss me off to absolutely no end. This year I've had only two people. Both of whom lied so much it's crazy and whose story changes each time with the telling(which is always a tell-tale sign someone's lying.) Thankfully though I have a manager who listens to her employees and doesn't always take the customer's side, unlike our company who just wants the money(but loses out more often than not because they just keep trying to get over on them, and they get into the habit of never buying anything.) So since I've been wearing it the pentacle has been doing it's job of protection. It's even duller than the fairy so it's time for it to be cleansed(already I've not had it three months, so after Christmas in the new year.) I'm one of those people who feel a lot. (I wouldn't say I'm an empath, I just feel a lot.) I had a hard time in school because I could feel everything and had no tools to handle all the emotions I had plus those of others. Now I do. The pentacle helps tremendously,so I suspect I'll be going through a few in my life. That, and my technique of the blank face. When people start to annoy me I just try to "Sookie" smile or just look blank. They can't stand either, but I have to live with me. I can't seem to do the brick wall or the bubble because that blocks out too much, and I can't do my job as well. I have to be able to feel and understand the stress of a baby or young child before I see it or I'll never get any pictures.
So that's my pagan/witchy thing for today. I'll try my absolute best to write everday, but if not then once a week until I begin to get close to everyday. There shouldn't be a three month hiatus unless something goes wrong.
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